Gumbo, Polish Sausage, Tupelo Honey and Blue Crabs

There are two very nervous Maryland Republicans today. Two very conservative, Bush-loving guys who look at their “safe” Republican districts right now and wonder how they can rescue their campaigns in the face of some really bad news, worse trends and outright voter hostility.

Roscoe Bartlett (R–MD6) and Roscoe Bartlett Jr., otherwise known as Andy Harris (R–MD 1 Wannabe), are two peas in a pod; two bizarrely ineffective lawmakers devoted to all things right-wing and virtually anything George Bush.

They see themselves as ideological lightening rods; angry, bitter and more comfortable pointing fingers than doing the hard work of serving their constituents.

Put them into a room together and I bet Andy would say to Roscoe, “Everybody else is crazy but me and thee… and sometimes I wonder about thee.”

So how’s that approach working with voters these days?

Not well. In two months, Republicans lost three special elections in three “safe” Republican congressional districts in regions of the country considered far more conservative than Maryland.

Illinois’ 14th District was GOP for 69 years. Louisiana’s 6th District was GOP for 33 years. Mississippi’s 1st District fell back into Democratic hands after 12 years.

That’s gumbo, polish sausage and Tupelo honey where the Republicans spent millions in a panic only to be defeated by Democrats who spent the same comfortably. The difference that matters now is that the Dems have much more cash to spend and likely will for the rest of year.

So, how will Roscoe or Andy draw any national pocket change from far more influential Republicans who have troubles of their own?

In Louisiana, Andy’s wacky benefactor – The Club for Growth – dropped a pretty nickel (inflation) and got thumped, again.

The “Club” and its friends threw all the negative stuff they had at these Democratic challengers: Hillary Clinton, Barrack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, taxes, security, big government… you get the idea. All the GOP scare tactics were tried. All of them failed and the vote totals, while not landslides, were solid.

Without something to throw at their opponents what will Andy and Roscoe do for a campaign?

Will they suddenly be able to brag about legislative or policy achievements? Yes, I am kidding.

In a district that wraps neatly around much of the Chesapeake Bay, “9% Andy” can claim he voted 9% of the time to clean it up. But, that’s probably not wise.

Even Roscoe is just fresh from defeat in a heated battle which left him voting against Mothers on Mother’s Day. These guys do not exactly have a plan.

Can they bring in Bush and/or Cheney? Despite the fact that Bush won both MD districts by 60 percent or so in 2004, the answer is, “no.”

“W” and Dick put their names, voices, images and personal appearances on display in IL, LA or MS and they got embarrassed.

So, it’s a good thing Frank Kratovil and Jennifer Dougherty have been around the block. If you thought Harris was a nasty actor in the Primary Elections, just wait for what he and Roscoe will cook-up while in panic mode.

It will get ugly but it doesn’t matter. “Ugly” is losing elections this year.

After gumbo, polish sausage and Tupelo honey, my money is on Maryland Blue Crabs in November. Jennifer and Frank will add their own steam to the process but the voters seem to be creating their own everywhere you turn.

Dinner is about to be served.